“Where are you from?” — I get asked many times.

“I’m from Chicago.” — I normally reply. For me, home is where I live.

“But where are you from originally?” –I hear this follow-up question way to0 often.

Some people don’t care where I live. Or, even worse, maybe they don’t even care where I was born. They simply wonder why I speak with an accent.

They are very few things that make feel insecure.

The “originally” question is clearly ones of those. Like someone wants to tell me I don’t belong. Or remind me that, originally, I’m not from here.

About Skin Colors and Weather

My wife is blond and has blue eyes, same as my younger son. They don’t have an accent. Yet similar situations make them feel foreign too.

When we came back from visiting our family in Buenos Aires, my son was confronted with the “you cannot be from Argentina”. “You are blond, you speak perfect English, that cannot be true.” — he was told.

Rather than feeling good about his looks and language skills, he felt ashamed. “Dad” –he asked me- “Is there anything wrong with not being born here?” I didn’t know how to reply.

Earlier this week, my wife run into a similar situation. She was chatting with her friends after a tennis match when a passing–by stranger interrupted their conversation. “You don’t look like you are from South America” — she questioned my wife’s original nationality- “You have neither dark hair nor brown skin”.

The stranger was surprised and joined the conversation. As my wife was sharing some pictures about a high-mountain trekking we did together, the woman interrupted again. She couldn’t believe that Argentina had high mountains and even glaciers.

“Isn’t South America all full of beaches and year-round tropical weather?”- the woman asked.

We can blame the confusion on the rising global warming effect. But I think some people seemed to have skipped their geography class.

Being Ignorant Doesn’t Mean Not Knowing

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t expect people to know that Argentina is one the largest countries in the world. Or that, like the US, it has a very diverse topography, weather, landscapes and, of course, people.

Argentina’s territory includes the Patagonia, the Iguazu waterfalls and a big chunk of the Antarctica. You can find mountains, deserts, green valleys, sea, gigantic lakes, and everything in between.

It’s okay for people not to know all the details. If they want to know –and ask- it gives me the opportunity to share the secrets gems for those willing to vacation further south.

What it’s hard for me to accept is when ignorance takes over curiosity. I mean ignorance, not as the lack of knowledge, but as the lack of interest to learn. Or even worse, when “prejudice” and pre-conceived images fill the blank spaces.

Like assuming that Latin American countries are all the same. Or, even worse, that they are at a different -lower- level than the US.

As I wrote in a previous post, adopting an ignorant approach is a great way to learn new things. But being ignorant that’s a different choice. To not accept things that are different or simply shutting off their curiosity to understand anything that’s “foreign”.

Those who follow my posts regularly know that I advocate for “cultural fitness” rather than cultural fit. I encourage organizations to stretch their mindsets by bringing people from different backgrounds, personalities and walks of life.

My take has nothing to do with the “usual diversity approach” but with promoting diversity of thinking within teams.

The things that are (or look) “foreign” are the perfect fuel for personal growth. Interacting with people that are different can only make us better and smarter.

On Brains and Accents

A couple of weeks ago we were having dinner with a large group of people. Many of them were curious about our “full-of-adventures” life.

I’ve been lucky to have a successful career that moved us from Argentina to Puerto Rico to New York to Los Angeles and then Chicago.

My wife is very good at telling stories. Especially the personal ones. She was captivating the audience by sharing how we got married in Fiji in an unplanned and spontaneous ceremony. Or our various adventures from hot air balloon flights to scuba diving in hundreds of places.

The audience was astonished: “You snorkeled with your five year-old surrounded by gigantic whale sharks?”

I’m more shy about my personal accomplishments. But my wife is good at telling a heroified version of what I do from my cooking skills to my new book.

She likes to talk about the different offers I received throughout my career especially those I didn’t accept. Or the companies I built or managed. Or how now, again, I decided to quit my corporate job to start a new company.

Why am I mentioning all this? I’m not bragging -she doesn’t either. I’m just providing some context to the conversation so you understand the context (and what happened next).

“I can’t believe you were able to experience and accomplish so many things. Because you are not from here.” –someone said all of a sudden.

This comment immediately reminded me of the “where are you from originally?” question.

I couldn’t help myself and just replied the first thing that came to my mind: “I might have an accent when I speak, but my brain has no accent”.

My life has been rich and full of opportunities. And I’m grateful for that. But that didn’t happen at no cost. It demanded a lot of hard work, preparation, creativity and -yes- my smarts.

My story is not the point here; how we ALL operate under the influence of prejudice is. How we fill the blanks with our ignorance instead of asking more questions.

Never underestimate those who are different. We can learn from everyone. Especially from those who we dislike or are completely our opposite.

It was hard for me to deal with someone who thinks that success can be determined by the place we were born or the color of our hair.

I didn’t lose my temper when I said that “my brain has no accent”. I said it in a humorous way trying to alleviate the tension. But only a few understood my sense of humor.

We could only hear silence after my words. Until someone ordered the check. With no accent.

So, what’s your story? How do you deal with a “foreigner’s reputation”?